FOXNews.com - You Decide 2004 - Kerry to Bush: Let's See Your Vietnam Record: "'If George Bush wants to ask me questions about that through his surrogates, he owes America an explanation about whether or not he showed up for duty in the National Guard. Prove it. That's what we ought to have,' Kerry told NBC News in an interview."

This goofball. The questions that George Bush is asking have to do with whether or not Kerry tossed his medals or not back in the 1971 at the Capitol, to protest the Vietnam war. It turns out he threw his ribbons, and a couple of medals that belonged to someone else, not his own.

In reality, it doesn't matter. The soldier turned hippie made a symbolic gesture, and in doing so, turned his back on his country and the government he served. So he kept his medals in a drawer back home. It makes no difference. His gesture was that they meant nothing to him.

His argument is that we need to know now whether or not Bush showed up for duty with the National Guard. This is a big stinking red herring.

Bush has been the President for three years and some change now, and he has been an effective Commander in Chief. He routed Afghanistan and Iraq. He locked up terrorists and caught Saddam Hussein. He's freed two countries from radical oppression. Judge him on that military duty, not on his actions thirty years ago.

We could do the same for Kerry, but he has not had any more military experience since then. What he did when he was enlisted is all we have to go by, and what he did after that, which was bad mouth the government in anti-war rallies.

This of course, is just a stink to detract from all of the other issues we should be looking at to decide whether or not the man is fit to lead the country.

For the record:

Bush is against abortion. Kerry is for it.
Bush is against gun control. Kerry is for it.
Kerry is against the death penalty, "except for terrorists," and the unborn. Bush is for it, for anyone who deserves it.
Bush is against gay marriage. Kerry is against gay marriage, but for gay civil unions, if there's a difference.
Bush is for school vouchers and overhauling head start. Kerry is against vouchers.
Kerry's got a foul mouth, and a huge chin, and from the same state as Boston Rob from Survivor.

There are other issues, and you can check the candidate's stance on them here, if you really need to.

FOX Broadcasting Company: The Swan

Have you seen this show on Fox? The latest in reality TV. The premise is a bunch of hound dogs go under the knife and come out of it looking like plastic barbie dolls and cross dressing men. The thing is some of the women are downright homely, while others just look kind of average. They undergo massive surgery, and after three months of healing, dieting, and starvation, they compete in a beauty pageant that will determine which one looks the most like Cher.

What would be fun, and would mix it up a little, is if they replaced these women with some men with wigs. It is doubtful that people would be able to tell the difference.

The amount of trauma they put themselves through is unlikely to cure their problems. At least they have three months of free therapy to go along with the beating they take, which is probably the best thing about the show. Let's be honest. These chicks have bigger issues than being fat and ugly. They have self esteem problems that surgery won't fix. Why else would they nearly kill themselves? Maybe the same reason anyone does reality TV.

Maybe they think being famous will make them happy.

These people need to meet Jesus. He likes you just like you are, and can give you a makeover from the inside that everyone will notice. And thankfully, you won't look like you're made out of plastic when it's over.