Love my woman, love my baby, love my biscuits sopped in gravy.

Wednesday, June 16, 2004

Almost every day you hear someone say, "exspecially," "libarry," "expresso," or "aks." Sometimes it's annoying, and you wonder how a person who grew up speaking the language could misuse words so easily. Occasionally, though, new words, or misuse of them, come up that are funny and worth remembering. I present to you a few recent ones.

Mongrel. Walking at the park the other day, two old ladies were discussing the success of someone they knew. "He was a real estate mongrel." Now she could have meant that the guy was a into real estate, but his mother was Irish and his father was from the Ukraine. I'm sure she meant mogul, right?

Absurdities. A friend of the family overheard high school kids in front of her house, using vulgar language. "They were screaming absurdities right in front of my daughter's window." I can only picture some teens yelling things like, "I am an egg!" and "John Kerry for President!"

Alvocado. A coworker used this to describe the famous California fruit or vegetable.

On Valentimes Day, I was on my way to get a colosopy, when I stopped at Walamart to pick up a bunch of alvocados and libarry books, and I ran into an expresso mongrel - the guy who started Bucky's. He aksed if I wanted to go chopping. I said, "John Kerry for President!"


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