Almost every day you hear someone say, "exspecially," "libarry," "expresso," or "aks." Sometimes it's annoying, and you wonder how a person who grew up speaking the language could misuse words so easily. Occasionally, though, new words, or misuse of them, come up that are funny and worth remembering. I present to you a few recent ones.

Mongrel. Walking at the park the other day, two old ladies were discussing the success of someone they knew. "He was a real estate mongrel." Now she could have meant that the guy was a into real estate, but his mother was Irish and his father was from the Ukraine. I'm sure she meant mogul, right?

Absurdities. A friend of the family overheard high school kids in front of her house, using vulgar language. "They were screaming absurdities right in front of my daughter's window." I can only picture some teens yelling things like, "I am an egg!" and "John Kerry for President!"

Alvocado. A coworker used this to describe the famous California fruit or vegetable.

On Valentimes Day, I was on my way to get a colosopy, when I stopped at Walamart to pick up a bunch of alvocados and libarry books, and I ran into an expresso mongrel - the guy who started Bucky's. He aksed if I wanted to go chopping. I said, "John Kerry for President!"