Regis and Dean

I find those weird informercials with Dean Martin and Regis Philbin singing together just creepy.

Regis, here's a tip: You're not that great of a singer. If you tried out for American Idol, you wouldn't go to Hollywood, dog. I'm just keeping it real, yo.

Everybody loves (somebody) Dean Martin but thank goodness we're not all in a monkey suit trying to sing with his dead image on national television. We keep it in the car, with the windows up, like it should be.

This is the same reason the Bobby Darin movie was a flop, and that a Tom Hanks version of Dean Martin movie would go up in smoke like Joe vs. The Volcano. We have video and music of the real deal, so why would we want to watch you pretend to be him? We want to either be Dean, Bobby or Elvis ourselves, we don't want to watch you imitate them. You're already famous, so go make a movie about a martian or something. We'll watch our old movies and listen to our old records.

And for pete's sake, someone get the hook the next time Regis goes to film one of those infomercials. I don't even know the guy and I'm embarrassed for him.

Thanks and goodnight. You've been wonderful.